Just Wondering...

Given the impending 2 months of electioneering and campaign rhetoric, which simultaneously excites me and frightens me - I may very well post with a little more regularity than the past few months, which has seen me post with the frequency in which I use periods to end run-on sentences. *ahem*

Given that opposition parties have opposing platforms and do their best to discount each other's policies and plans - why do they then turn around and chastise the current government for breaking promises? Promises to do things you would assume they don't want to see put into place to begin with.

Just curious. I'm sure there will be many unaswered questions for the next little while.

Honeymoon's Over

Meh... The 9 to 5 is really getting to me. Thank god there is chocolate peanut butter ice cream.

Ever had Grace's Pineapple Juice? Taste the Caribbean. It comes in a glass bottle with a bottle cap that was sealed by a legion of Herculean Strongman competitors in some Austrian frat house. It defies bottle openers. Basically you have to chisel it off. Perhaps it is to contain the 157% pure sugar elixir of sweetness that doesn't really have much or any of that tangy tartness one commonly associates with pineapple. Unless the pineapple trees (trees? I don't know what they grow on. And I thought pinepples were endemic to the Pacific anyways. I know shockingly little about the source of fruit.) were genetically modified and spliced with the genes of a sugar cane and... oh wow, that sounds like a fantastic idea.

Genetically modified foods will have my full support if and when they combine all of my favourite fruits with sugarcane.

And cocoa and peanuts.

I Said Slowly

The problem with such a long break from blogging is that there is so much that has happened and the prospect of putting together an epic post describing (to the two of you who may care) what as been up for the last 4 or 5 months is very daunting. It would rival The Odyssey, it would. A very boring version of The Odyssey where this guy has started a new job and wanted to move to Toronto and then spent a month or so looking for a place and then actually did move to Toronto and has been kind of enjoying his time since. Eating out. Seeing some movies. Griping with coworkers about the workaday world. That about sums it up I guess.

Also any comments doubting my staying power are completely founded, if that is indeed the proper use of that word - the opposite of unfounded is what I'm looking for and it just seems easier to remove the "un" than to go and hunt down the thesaurus to find something better. I don't know how well I'll keep this up but at least I'm having a go.

There's also so much that's happened to my regular blogger reads, and though I'd like to dedicate hours to catching up with their posts - I won't. Don't be offended. I will read with interest starting anew.

Yechh, it's been a while since I tried to write more than a paragraph and I think it's showing.

I'll finish with words of wisdom from today's 24: "Sanchez says Roxy Music, David Bowie and the Rolling Stones enjoy a decades-long mutual love affair with fashion for decades."

How's that for being redundant enough for you?

Is This Thing On?

Slooowly eeking my way back into the blogosphere, due in no small part to the hilarious new blog of one Part Time Ninja.

Let's see how well it goes this time...

Sincerest Apologies

Yes, I know I'm not very good at this lately.

Those damned full time jobs just get in the way of everything. When I was posting regularly, I usually wrote late at night - when I felt the most inspired/creative/bored/delerious. I can't stay up that late anymore and so the posts suffer for it. I have to try and establish a new writing routine to get this going again. But with the apartment hunting, the crisis in the Middle East, political turmoil at home and abroad...

I'll try harder.

Bread & Honey & Beer

1) Last weekend was the annual Bread & Honey Festival in Streetsville and also happened to be my first full weekend off with the new full time hours. The cards were stacked against me from the get-go. Much time was spent in the beer garden doing exactly what you should be doing in a beer garden; talking to people from high school you haven't seen in 8 years and drinking copious amounts of beer to make all that talking bearable.

Beer was drank later at dinner in town and then more beer was drank later at the bar. It was glorious. And Sunday was spent as any good Sunday should be spent; sleeping in until noon so that the alcohol seeping out of your pores was diluted enough that breathing in your own body odor didn't make you drunk again. Yes, it was pretty.

It's a good thing it's only an annual event.

2) We are in the midst of full-blown summer heat and it's great. I spend my day in an air-conditioned office, which I guess is great, but I also feel like I'm missing out. Even though the brief time I'm outside at lunch is pretty damned uncomfortable. And it's great to be able to go out on my bike at 10 at night when it's perfect biking weather.

3) The reason I don't write jokes for a living:

Did you hear about the giant at the midgets' orgy?

The poor guy just didn't fit in.

A Post

... and so I says to Mabel, I says...

Well, hello. Long time no 3 things. I really haven't been that uninspired to write for that long, but it's like a habit that once you fall out of, gets really hard to get back into. Like bathing. Or not killing.

I've been meaning to sit down and play a little catch up with the posts for a long time, but every time I try even more time has passed and there's the pressure; the immense and unwavering pressure, to come up with the mother of all posts to make up for all that time I've missed. And so I don't feel like I can live up to all that pressure (which is, of course, entirely in my mind) and I bail on the writing and another day goes by. And so on and so on...

The one-minute update:

I am now officially full-time, liking the job and liking the free weekends even more. I am moving to TO in July. For those in the know: somewhere in the Bloor/Bathurst area so that the subway/bus out to Mississauga won't be too bad, and so that I'll be inundated with more coffee shops and gift shops than I can shake a stick of patchouli incense at. Most importantly I'll be living with a wicked friend with a cute puppy that I totally plan on milking for all of it's chick-attracting worth. And I'll be living close to all of my best friends who will quickly learn that yes, distance does make the heart grow fonder. Suckers.

I have missed writing and will try to get back into the blogging saddle: the saddlelog. No, lets pretend I didn't just call it that... I can't promise that it will be daily (like it ever was) but I'll try to post more often than once every 6 weeks. I wouldn't want to pull an Astronaut Jones on you.

Quickest way to get your comments into the double digits: fake your own disappearance and watch the concern roll in from all of your dedicated readers... or from Butterscotch. It's nice to know I've forged a few anonymous long-distance digital connections. Warms the heart.

OK, ciao, talk soon.

Oh yeah, 3 things:

1) Pope's dead, and the new guy's worse.

2) Belinda's a grit, the MPILF can at least wear a red dress now.

3) Deep Throat is an old white guy, kinda ruins that movie doesn't it?